Life has to go on
by Little-Firestar84
Summary: The battle over, he was resting; when he saw her, he asked her the most simple, yet difficult, question; "Why are you here?" Oneshot, Postmovie, Royai.


Disclaimer: I don't own FMA. Notes: this story was born as a chapter inside "always yours", the other story I'm writing, but then i decided to do a oneshot, about Reza and Roy, and changed few things. the story takes place immediately after the distruction of the gate...

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The battle, like the invasion from the world where the Fullmetal Alchemist and his little brother were returned, was over, the gate destroyed on both worlds… one side from the Elrics, the other one from Mustang himself. And when everything was over, it started to rain, it was like it was washing off all the destruction and the blood that, that day, their world saw. _Now I'm useless here._ The flame alchemist thought as he reached the open door of one of the military proprieties in the neighbourhood. Still wet, he went in front of a fireplace, and lighted it up; he sat in front of it, at closed eyes, dreaming about a hot cup of Irish coffee, but suddenly the feeling of a cold breeze on the back of his neck woke him up from his semi-day dream. He looked at the door, and he saw how reluctant and hesitating she was…. The woman he knew from a life, the one who was always at his side, in the worst and in the better, from maybe more than half his life. He didn't know exactly why, but when he looked in her eyes, he thought that something was wrong, something _felt_ wrong. "Hawkeye" he said with a grin on his face, showing her with a gesture to go to seat near him, in front of the fireplace. After all, she was wet as well. "Your alchemy here, on the inside, isn't so useless then, Roy." She was smiling, as she made her way to go near him.

_Roy__? She almost never called me that way, even when we were teens. I've always been Mr. Mustang, Colonel, or Sir, but almost never just Roy. I feel strange, listening to her calling me that way. _he silently froze, something she did, too, and the both looked silently at their feet, avoiding eye contact. She hugged her legs, and, looking at the sparkling flames dancing in front of her, she finally said what she wanted to tell him. "I'm retiring. I already signed the papers… I leave the military." She was waiting for him to say something, ask something, an explanation, but she didn't hear his voice, so she told him the truth. "I thought it was time to stop to punish myself, and then, the reason I joined in the first place, was gone." She was smiling of a sad smile; he didn't look in her eyes, but just in front of him, at the flames, like her "The reason you joined? Hawkeye, please, don't be silly. I really can't understand why you want to leave. Or why you joined me here, for what it could matter." He was surprised, then, to see that she was now smiling _at him, _looking _at him_, while still holding her legs in a hug. "Don't you think that it's finally time to stop to punish yourself, too?" She went closer to him, and she gently spoke, while caressing with the back of her right hand his face, while his missing eye was. He froze again, but this time it was a sensation more intense. It was the first time she did something so intimate, nothing like that happened, even when she took him in and helped him "to come back to life" after his fight with the fuhrer. He closed his remaining eye, caressing her hand with his one, enjoying the warm of her hand on his skin and the touch, the sensation of his own one on her one. Again, he froze, something she felt, too, closing her eyes, taking a breath of relief… something she wasn't doing from a long time, from the last time she saw him. It was a new sensation fro the both of them, although they spent years and years of their lives, well, together. Maybe they were never "intimate" during those years, 'cause she was too devoted to him (and his cause) to do( or even try) something like that. She never believed she was his type; she was smart, nice, the best in her work (and in watching his back) but she knew that now way she was his type; and not because he liked easier women or one night stands, but simple because he never had the time to have (or even to look for) a real story. Roy Mustang was focused on his goal, and he didn't have the time to think about other things.

"I'm not sure I still remember how you were as a civil – he whispered, looking now at the blue and golden ceiling – Hawkeye, you didn't answer me."

"You mean, I didn't tell you why I'm quitting or why I joined you here?" she finally opened her eyes, and took her hands off from his face, placing them on the wooden floor; he didn't like it, so, immediately, he put his ones on her ones; she gasped in surprise. "Both" he was smiling, sweetly, at her. She froze again, once more.

"Roy, I joined the military because of you. Because I believed you were the one… - she stopped, not knowing exactly define him; what one was Roy Mustang for her? – the one who could change things from the inside. And when you left for that place forgotten by God and by the Devil too, part of me died, that day. But I knew you that day, and I still know you, I know that you went away, over there, because of the things you did in your life"

"I did so many horrible things, Hawkeye … - he paused, continuing then whispering, maybe not conscious that he was speaking at loud - _I've never been good enough for you, I'm not worth you."_

"Well, guess what, Roy? – she woke up, shouting, with tears in her eyes – I did horrible things, me too! I was at your side, do you remember? Do you remember that I've been always, and always, at your side? But people go on, Roy, people _have_ to go on!" "So it's why you joined me here, because you went on with your life?" He looked different now. He was cold, sarcastic. His eyes told her it was time to leave, but once she was trying to do it, he stopped her, grabbing the woman for an harm; Hawkeye turned her face in his direction, facing the flame alchemist once more. "I've always been at your side, Roy. I passed at you my father's knowledge, and not only because I didn't want to see them die with him. I did it because I believed you were the only one worth it."

"I've never been worth it, or worth you, for what it matters."

"Roy, please – she start caressing his face again, looking sad – stop talking like that. Stop living in the past. Go on. We all need to go on."

"Why are you here?" still at close eyes, he asked her again.

"Because I have and want to go on, but I feel like I can't do it without you. Or if you exit from here with me, or you tell me to leave and stop waiting for you to make your move, once and for all." She was sad. sad and desperate.

"What are you trying to tell me, Hawkeye, that you like me?" he grinned.

"No, I'm telling you that, when I was a teen, I had a crush on you. That I decided to follow you, and I started falling in love with you. And one day, I understood that I loved you. I'm saying that I love you, Roy, and that I need to know what I have to do of my life. I don't know if I can wait for you like Winry does for Edward Elric." Damn, speaking of the Elrics and of Winry wasn't exactly the best way to convince him, a man followed by the ghosts of his past, to open himself with her. What the hell she was thinking about? "Fullmetal and his brother are full of resources. They'll find a way to come back. They always have." He smiled, sure not of himself, but of what he was talking about. Mustang and Elric always argued, from the beginning, but they always had a "filed respect" for each other.

"Roy, answer me."

"Winry can wait, but I know you… it's not that you can't, you simply don't have to. I don't have the right to ask you to wait for me. I'm not going to do it." He released her, and, as she made her way in direction of the door, he looked at her. He was looking at her leaving his life for the last time, he knew it, and her words convinced him of the reality of his thoughts. "If this is your answer, then, fine. But at this point, don't you dare to look for me, never again." She was exiting from his life. Did he really understand it? Did he really want it? When she was almost out of the door, he run in her direction; he grabbed her, hugging her from her back. She smiled, feeling safe and comfortable for the first time in a long time. She couldn't see it, but Roy was smiled, too, smelling the vanilla perfume of her long, brown hair. "Maybe I've to stop living in the past, maybe it's time to move on, maybe its time to came back to my idea of changing things from the inside. Will you be at my side again?"

"Roy, I'm leaving the military"

"You misunderstood me. It's not a colonel who is asking to his lieutenant to be at his side, it's me, Roy, who I'm asking to Reza to stand by me. Don't… don't take it – he continued a little embarrassed – the wrong way. it's not a marriage proposal, I mean, not that I don't want to marry you, but it's a bit early, I mean, we know each other from a life and you knew me better that anyone else, but we never did stuff like...dating or like that. So, we can… I mean, we can live it day by day first, okay?"

She smiled, and laughed. It was a brand new side of him she didn't know. Her laugh was the answer he needed, so he took all his courage and kiss her, lovely, slowly and sweetly, on the lips. Rapidly, she immediately answered him, deepened the kiss, and putting her hands on the neck of the tall dark haired man. "So, what's our first move, Roy?" She asked, shining eyes, still amazed by the kiss.

"We'll go back to Central, and see what we can do to have my work back. We'll go back to the idea of changing things from the inside, and this time, we'll do it together."

**_The end…for now. _**


End file.
